Volunteering can help fight loneliness, build purpose-driven community in a fractured world
By Ruby Colette (a.k.a., Ruby the Resourceress)
Activist and Upcycling Artist
Editor’s note: Ruby Colette is a steady fixture and volunteer for Waste Wise Lane County, a part of Lane County Waste Management. Whether it’s volunteering with the Lane County Master Recycler Program, or participating at one of Waste Wise Lane County’s Fix-It Fairs as an upcycling educator with blown-out bicycle inner tubes, T-shirts, and so-called trash, Ruby is synonymous with Lane County’s sustainability sector.
I have a Dalmatian education: spotty. Much of what I’ve learned comes from volunteering.
When I lived in a community in my early twenties, we brought meals to each other’s families when a new baby was born or someone was ill. Over time I developed a standard dinner that I still bring to friends and families in need. As a result, I share in some of the most precious and vulnerable parts of people’s lives. That’s person-to-person volunteering.
My two daughters were in grade school when I moved to Eugene in 1991. Helping out at school functions and joining sewing circles to make gifts for fundraising gave me the opportunity to meet other families. I learned fresh craft skills. Soon I felt at home in my new city. Some of those relationships are now 34 years strong.
Sometimes, I’ve taken classes that were paid for by volunteering.
Lane County Waste Management’s Master Recycler program taught me not just about recycling but about the larger world of production, waste, and consumerism. As a volunteer Master Recycler, I’ve gone to events–like concerts at the Cuthbert–I would not have been able to afford or I might not have thought of attending because of my volunteering. Watching the roller derby was a blast!
Taking the Master Food Preserver Program course while I was homeless helped me start my life over. My friend circle had been decimated years before by a jealous partner. The support of the people in that group gave me new stability and friendships. I learned about preserving food safely. When I volunteered at classes to help others learn these skills, that helped root the knowledge in my memory as well.
Two years as a White Bird crisis worker taught me communication skills I sorely lacked. Not that I always remember them. It also taught me an invaluable lesson: that it’s best to admit my mistakes. The White Bird motto was “Assume Nothing.” I came up with another motto while volunteering there: “Don’t argue with people’s reality.” Now that my mother has dementia, that’s a necessary tool.
What was the hardest thing to learn? Letting people help ME!
My mom was a giver but didn’t let people give to her. I made the mistake of thinking only giving was noble. In reality, my resentment grew as I secretly wished I would accept what others offered. Three years of homelessness taught me to welcome help. Now I can say, “Sure, thanks! I’d love that.” My friendships are more balanced and healthier as a result.
At its root, volunteering helps foster community, especially during these uncertain times.
Food assistance was threatened in November, and other benefits feel insecure–as do many of us. Many are afraid to leave their homes, afraid for their lives. My way of coping is to do something to make this world–which has always been precarious for many–a better place. We each hold a different part of the puzzle, and every piece is important.
Some make burritos to feed unhoused people, while some bring chocolate chip cookies to church. Others play music for the community, blow bubbles at someone’s bedside, help neighbors with their computers, donate art to fundraisers, lead a craft or study group, serve on a committee, provide food at one of our parties, or give car-free friends an occasional ride. All of these acts add up to make a robust community. We each have our niche.
Some people say the world is made of givers and takers. I propose a third category: sharers. It’s okay to accept help. Giving is gratifying. Doing both makes a more balanced person. When I volunteer at Waste to Taste food bank, I also shop there. I both give and take. The community enriches my life. As a retired person, I’d feel lonely and purposeless without the connections that come from working with others towards a common cause.
Sharing feelings about the world’s trauma is important. Yet in my experience, I can get stuck in awfulizing and be too paralyzed by distress to take action. What am I doing about it, I ask myself. What helps me get out of bed in the morning is to find a place where I can do good and feel good.
Ruby Collette is a writer and an upcycling artist in the local sustainability community. She donates much of her art to causes she believes in. As a person with disabilities, her dream is that if we can find beauty in trash, and stop seeing others as disposable.
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